film

Short stories

GIFTS

 

"Hello, you've reached the White House..."

"Ah yes, who can I speak to about purchasing a Congressman?"

"Sir that would hardly be legal!"

"But I'm a citizen!"

"Oh, I'm sorry sir. And which Congressman were you interested in?"

"Um I'm really not sure... You see it's actually a gift."

"Oh how thoughtful!"

"Yes I wanted to get something different for my girlfriend..."

"That is very sweet sir, but I'm afraid that Congressmen are fairly expensive."

"Oh; and Senators?"

"Even more sir. However, buying a Congressman's vote on a single issue is much more affordable."

"Really?"

"Yes sir. Does your girlfriend have any particular interests?"

"Well, she's big on dolphins and those things..."

"Well you could buy a Congressman's vote on deep sea fishing rights, then! Those bills that are trying to preserve the dolphins!"

"How much would that be?"

"About fifty thousand for a Democrat and 200 thousand for a Republican."

"Wow! Why the big difference?"

"It costs much more if they have to vote for something which is against their party platform. If you'd wanted to buy a vote on say... burning the homeless, it would be the other way around."

"Oh I see!"

"But sir, if you really want to get her something very special..."

"Yes?"

"You could get her a Presidential vote!"

"Wow! He's for sale too?"

"They're all for sale sir, the best government money can buy!" .

Copyright 1998 by Luther Conant III

 
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  Write to Luther at Luther@lutheroutloud.com. Tell him what you think, what you know, how you feel, or what made you feel like writing.
 
All images, text, animations,and music 2000 By Luther C. Conant III (unless where otherwise noted.)